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Monthly Archives: February 2011

I am not one to have many vices, and those that I do have are quite strong. Among them, is my taste for Absinthe. The Goddess in Green is how I know her. Each time I succumb to the urge ritual of Absinthe’s preparation, I feel her presence. First as a pressure upon my shoulders. Soothing the aches of the day. Her dress dazzles my eyes as the water slowly washes away the sugar and forms that familiar cloud in the glass. Often I linger, allowing myself the indulgence of simply watching the universe through the wondrous drink.

As much as I desire to take that first drink so quickly, she never allows it. Always I am told to wait until I am settled in my favorite chair. Even then, she insists that I be relaxed. That first sip, that first kiss is always so sweet, so… delicate. The more that she allows me to consume, the more I feel her warm embrace. Like a lover with a warm blanket. I always feel safe in her care. Every moment is special, until we fall asleep.

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The question of meaning within music has once again come into my life again. While I often indulge myself in the occasional muse about what a certain song may or may not mean to the artist, it is a rare occasion when the discussion delves into anything which can be considered deep thought. The most recent instance originates with a song, and even an artist, which I have often found myself considering at length. Specifically, I am referring to the Progressive Rock band TOOL, which is led by Maynard J. Keenan.

While many of the bands songs are cause for a moment to ponder, the one which presently has my rapt attention is 46 and 2. Before doing any research of my own, I would often believe that the song was referring to a self-transformation, and the conflict with one’s Shadow. Shadow being the part of the human psyche which C.G. Jung so eloquently described as “part of the unconscious mind which contains, repressed weaknesses, shortcomings and instincts.” I also attribute taboo thoughts and actions to that of the Shadow, thereby making the Shadow, all of which we hate/fear/dislike about ourselves. One with the ability to conquer their Shadow would then be a truly enlightened individual.

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There are many times during an average day where I find myself in a conversation with no audience. That is to say, no audience other than my own. Of course, there are times when I am “caught in the act” of chattering to myself, at which point I then have an external set of ears to listen to my rantings. But what of those times when I am not so fortunate? Is it truly sane for one to express their feelings verbally if only the walls are hearing it? What then about persons who would have you believe that it is only wrong when one answers their own questions? With so many diverse mentalities in the world, can anyone truly be an authority on the sanity of self?

I am not one of those authorities to be certain. Many days I even question my own sanity, which perhaps justifies me as being “sane”, especially given the statement “crazy people do not know they are crazy”. One could argue either way. Especially given that some cases of mental instability often include periods, extended or otherwise, of lucidity. During those periods, the afflicted may realize what that they have committed an undesirable act, and thus make some assessment of their sickness. I will leave such things to later discussions, and proper authorities.

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